My sister in law sent me this song. I’ve never heard it before. It’s supposed to be about Jesus. She said it reminded her of me because it reminded her of my Bipolar.

⠀⠀

You are not hidden

There’s never been a moment

You were forgotten

You are not hopeless

Though you have been broken

Your innocence stolen

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

There is no distance

That cannot be covered

Over and over

You’re not defenseless

I’ll be your shelter

I’ll be your armor

I hear you whisper underneath your breath

I hear your SOS, your SOS

I will send out an army to find you

In the middle of the darkest night

It’s true, I will rescue you

I will never stop marching to reach you

In the middle of the hardest fight

It’s true, I will rescue you

I hear the whisper underneath your breath

I hear you whisper, you have nothing left

Having Bipolar you feel lost more than you feel found.

You feel alone and forgotten rather than alive and wanted.

You feel hopeless more than you feel hopeful.

We whisper for help instead of shouting from the rooftops because we don’t need the help!

We’ve got this! But sometimes we don’t have this and we do need the help.

We need someone to pull us from our darkness. We need an army to search for and rescue us. Save us from ourselves.

We need that shelter and armor.

We need someone to hear our whispered SOS before we have nothing left. ⠀⠀

This song left me in tears this morning. It has to be my new favorite. I’ll never look at it the way it was intended and I’m sorry for that, but this song gave me hope. ⠀⠀

You don’t realize that someone is on your side until they actually tell you. I didn’t realize she felt that way about me. I don’t realize that anyone feels anyway about me. Only because I always feel so alone and lost all the time. I always feel misunderstood. Who understands why I do and say what I do? No one.

I want to feel alive and hopeful, but that’s not what I get. I get hopeless and dead inside. Even with medication. Sure, I’ll get maybe a week or two of being amazing then it’s all downhill again.

I always want help. I always need help. Do I ask for it?? Nope. Why?? I have no idea. Maybe it’s pride? Maybe it’s because I think I have all this handled on my own? Maybe it’s because I think no one can help me? I’ve asked for help before, when I was suicidal. I called my doctor crying begging for him to help me because I didn’t want my son to find me. It’s something I’ll never forget. It happened more than once. Even though I don’t say it out loud, I do need help and I do appreciate the help when it’s given.

I have one person in particular that knows that I’m Bipolar that can rescue me from my own darkness. They know how to handle me. They aren’t pushy. I get check in calls. Asked if I’m clean or if I ate anything. This happens when they don’t hear from me in a while. She’s pretty amazing to me. I’ve called her in a fit of tears a few times and just told her to “talk to me” because I didn’t want to be alone. We all need people like her.

Bipolar is by far one of the hardest challenges I’ve ever been through. But having a rescuer here to save me each time I send out an SOS, it makes this life just a little bit easier to handle knowing I have someone by side through it all.