Happiness is not a choice

I have been seeing the likes of the poster and posts EVERYWHERE lately! And honestly it’s driving me nuts!

Let’s start from the beginning…

I’ve had depression since I was 16. I was never happy. I never learned how to choose to be happy.

But I also never chose to be happy because there was never a choice. Mental illness does not give you a choice whether to be happy or not. Mental illness tells you exactly what mood it wants you in and then you’re stuck in it. It’s not as easy as, “Hey, I’ll wake up in the morning and be happy and chipper” Your mind determines your mood for you. It’s not the other way around. Don’t get me wrong, we fight our moods the best we can to be happy, but it doesn’t always work. Our moods are strong contenders against our minds.

Man, do I wish it were that easy though! I’ve been fighting negative thoughts for 18 years now! I would have had such an easier life if all I had to tell myself was choose to be happy.

This goes to show you the HUGE difference in understanding. People who do not understand mental illness say “choose happiness”. People with mental illness and the ones who do understand keep trying to explain that it isn’t that simple.

Life would be grand if we can choose to be happy. No more medications! No more therapy! No more sponsors! No more log apps or journals! No more psych ward visits because we’d be too happy to be suicidal. No more crying, or yelling, or throwing things, or getting annoyed for no reason. Life would be happy and perfect like we’ve always wanted it. And all we have to do is choose happy to achieve it!

In a way, I’m glad this trick doesn’t work. Without it I never would have found out how strong I really am.

FYI…this is only my opinion. If this works in your life then good for you! But my life as a bipolar sufferer, it does not.

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